yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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