didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yo dont text me then not text me
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
sarcasm needs its own font
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
