i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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