i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
