every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
