yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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