Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
