dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
