Christians are straight up FREAKS
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
