Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
