haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
