Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
