you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
