Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
