i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
