This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
