wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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