his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
