hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize