I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize