I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
