Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
