How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i barfeds in our rink
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
