Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
