I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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