i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
