you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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