I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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