I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I take back everything I said about communal showers
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
