I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I would fuck him just for his dog
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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