I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
