Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
