i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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