Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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