You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
These tits shall not be calmed
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
