I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
