If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
