Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
