THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
