Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
