woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
