I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
