you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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