She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
