i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
