Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
