spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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