I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
