his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My vagina is officially offended.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
