I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Can you bring me the toilet please
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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