I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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