just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize