Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
