Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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