i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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