I'm really into asian looking animals
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
