I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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