Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
